I want a daughter while I'm still young, I want to hold her hand and show her some beauty before this damage is done

My greatest hope, inspiration, and joy!

Nothing can truly prepare you for becoming a dad. A whole new part of your heart opens, one you didn’t even know existed.

When our daughter Miriam was born, she arrived two months early by emergency caesarean, weighing just 2.7 pounds. Her mum was so courageous through it all. I’ll be forever grateful for her strength and grace in those intense first moments. And we’ll never forget the extraordinary care we received from the staff at Southmead Hospital. Their kindness, calm, and dedication carried us through.

We spent two months in Neonatal Intensive Care, where I would sit each day from late afternoon into the early hours with Miriam curled up on my chest. We were told skin-on-skin contact was important for her development, so there we were, six dads, all shirtless, holding our tiny babies close.

Each night, my thoughts would wander. I hoped with everything in me to be a good father. To raise Miriam to feel safe, happy, and deeply loved.

One night, I was listening to The Suburbs by Arcade Fire when a single lyric overwhelmed me:

“I want a daughter while I'm still young; I want to hold her hand and show her some beauty before this damage is done.”

That line captures why I’m part of The Shining Light Project.

When I look around, I see division and anger. I see people unwell in mind and spirit. I see fear taking root and toxicity spreading through the media. I see politics stuck in endless loops. I see a capitalist system that can do great good, but also great harm.

And yet, I have boundless hope.

That hope comes from the people I work alongside. Selfless people who give their lives to others. Their quiet actions stitch real togetherness back into the fabric of our communities. These are the people we honour through The Shining Light Project.

They are the embodiment of what Joanna Macy and Chris Johnstone call Active Hope. Because not all hope is the same.

Passive hope waits for change to arrive. Active hope takes part in making it happen.

It’s what George Bernard Shaw once described:

“The true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one… Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

No matter how messy things get, we can still have hope, because we still have the ability to act, and we still have each other.

Before the damage is done

That night in the hospital, holding Miriam and hearing those lyrics again: “I want to hold her hand and show her some beauty before this damage is done.” I felt joy. Not just for becoming a father, but for the opportunity to try. To try to be a light. To help build a better future for her and for the world she and other children inherit.

We each have something unique to offer. I hope the stories we share through The Shining Light Project help you see yours more clearly, and give you the courage to share it.

Thank you for reading, take care, and good luck with everything you’re focused on.

Benjamin

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